Tips Prior To Divorce

What You Should Know BEFORE You Get A Divorce

There are many misconceptions about divorce. Moreover, many couples don’t fully understand the complexities, decisions, and hurdles that can arise during the process. The end of a marriage often creates a variety of changes that can be difficult for both parents and children. Custody, new living arrangements, property division, and of course money are all a part of the discussion — and they aren’t easy topics. It’s also a stressful time, which can only contribute to the complexity when managing a divorce properly.

Divorce is tough. However, being armed with the right information can help ease a hard process. So, before getting a divorce, consider these tips that can help with this difficult time.

The Kids Aren’t Getting A Divorce

We understand that this can be a contentious time,  but one’s children shouldn’t have to bear the weight of this decision. While custody is its own topic, we’re more concerned with the negative impact that conflict can have during this time. Try to refrain from fighting in front of the children or saying negative things about one’s spouse to the children.

It’s really a matter of taking a step back and thinking about the kids first. These arguments or insults that might occur in front of children can have a lasting effect. Furthermore, unless an abusive or neglectful spouse is involved — children will have a relationship with the other parent. It’s not a competition. Promoting a healthy bond is always the best choice.

It is sometimes necessary for parents to seek mental health professionals for their children or even themselves during this time. Counseling can help everyone involved better cope with the situation at hand.

There’s No “Winning” A Divorce Case

Some believe that getting a divorce is a path to successfully defeating one’s spouse.  The truth is that divorce isn’t that simple. It’s very rare for one individual to end up “winning” everything they want at the end of the case. From child custody and support to property division and spousal maintenance — there are a lot of variables when it comes to a divorce case.

Instead of going into a divorce with the wrong mindset, try to remember what matters during a time like this, like protecting the children and preserving relationships.

Every Divorce Is Unique

During such a difficult and stressful time, it’s not uncommon for spouses to seek guidance from someone they know that has gone through the same hardship. While we would never discourage a healthy support system, it’s important to know that every divorce has its own unique challenges and complexities.

Instead of taking advice from friends or family, it’s always recommended that you seek counsel with an experienced family law attorney. They can direct you toward other professionals that may be able to help with finances, counseling, or other facets of your case.

Take The High Road

We know that this is easier said than done, but it will undoubtedly pave the way towards a smoother process and a better future.  We often see petty or unnecessary disputes, which can only prevent spouses from moving forward. Working with one’s spouse when applicable instead of swimming against the current will make the whole process more successful for both parties.

The more entanglement with insignificant disputes, the more time and money will be spent on a divorce.  In this case, nobody wins. Try to let the little things go and focus energies on larger matters that may significantly impact one’s life down the road.

Be Open And Honest With Your Attorney

Providing attorneys with everything they need in order to properly manage the case can drive the process towards the desired outcome.  Often sensitive information is exposed during a divorce, but hiding information usually catches an attorney off-guard and results in unsuccessful outcomes down the road.

Court Is A Long Winding Road

 If negotiations break down between spouses, heading to a court might be the only option.  It’s not an easy road, though. Divorce trials are often long and expensive. These cases can become battlegrounds for both spouses, and sometimes they become so costly that the cost of a trial can end up being more than the assets that are up for dispute.

Keep Records Of Everything

It’s always better to be prepared and proactive about a divorce.   Time-stamped photos of items, no matter how big or small can prevent headaches in the future. If you want to avoid disputes that can take up unnecessary time and energy, start an inventory of home items.  Objects like furniture, dinnerware, or other valuables can be recorded.  

Create a list and valuation of all items; if needed, get appraisals or insurance inventories. Keep all of this information in a safe, secure location. Making copies of any pre-nuptial agreements or other relevant documents and storing them with your inventory is also recommended. 

Think It All Through

Many decisions are made during this challenging time which can be life-changing.  For instance, selling a property or giving up custody are impactful choices that could have long-standing effects. Be sure to consider all of the outcomes and consequences of the decisions that are being made during this time.
Divorce is stressful. It’s important to have the right support and legal counsel to protect your assets and your future lifestyle.